Take a Drunk Girl Home
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: That's how you know the difference in a boy and a man. You take a drunk girl home.


So...ever since I first heard Chris Janson's Drunk Girl, I've wanted to do a Lassiet AU for it. The song is absolutely stunning and just fits them so well, and if you haven't heard it I cannot recommend it highly enough. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Carlton Lassiter hated Miami.

It was too hot, there were bugs the size of birds everywhere, and he was fairly certain he had seen an alligator on the side of the road attempting to hitchhike.

Who in their right mind would try to live here?

He was sitting in his hotel room, the air conditioning on blast as he lamented the fact that he was trapped here for another three days. Training sessions were a necessary evil, especially since he was determined to work his way up the metaphorical ladder. And while it was certainly hot back home in California, it was just hot. It wasn't hot and muggy and filled with creatures that wanted to eat him.

His piece sat in front of him and his hands worked instinctively, putting his gun together and taking it apart as the TV quietly played in the background.

He hated silence.

Briefly his hands hesitated before resuming their work. He supposed silence was something he'd have to get used to. Just weeks ago his wife of twelve years, Victoria, had served him with divorce papers. He couldn't truly say he was surprised, but damn it that hurt. They had been together since their freshman year of college and while it wasn't always a perfect union, he had loved her.

In many ways he always would.

She had been his best friend, his confidant, his lover. For over a decade they came home to each other, rarely spending a night apart unless work called him away.

A bitter chuckle escaped him as he finally set his gun down.

There wasn't enough alcohol in the room to deal with the emotions swirling in his chest. Maybe it wasn't his brightest idea, but he needed to get drunk. He stood up and grabbed his coat, keys, and wallet. Then he stalked out of the hotel room.

Luckily he didn't have far to go. Just two blocks away was a decent enough little bar that also served food, so he could have his drink and dinner. Then he could go back to the hotel and get some sleep before his morning training session.

Finally reaching the bar, he ducked inside and grabbed the closest seat facing the bar. The stool was uncomfortable but he flagged down the bartender and ordered his drink. Then he grabbed the menu and began perusing it. The food choices weren't bad and his first drink arrived before he could even get a good look at the dinner options.

As he took his first sip, the door opened and two young women walked inside, giggling and chattering excitedly. Out of instinct he gave them the once over. One blonde, one brunette, early twenties and already several drinks in. From their demeanor, he figured they were likely celebrating. Probably a graduation or an engagement, he hardly knew.

At a second look, he had to admit that the blond was striking. Big blue eyes, lush lips, pink cheeks and a sweet voice… She was the first woman who had caught his eye since his split from his wife. He knocked back the rest of his drink.

To his surprise, the two took the stools next to him, with the blond sitting directly to his left.

The bartender stopped to take their drink orders. Then, to his shock, the blond turned and smiled at him.

"We're celebrating!" she exclaimed while her friend giggled uncontrollably.

He cocked his head, still unsure why she was talking to him. "Oh?"

"Yep. Graduated the academy today!"

That piqued his interest. "Congratulations."

 _Couple cover charge stamps got her hand looking like a rainbow_

 _In and out of every bar on a whim just like the wind blows_

 _She's either a bachelorette or coming off a breakup_

 _Take a drunk girl home_

"Thanks. I'm Juliet, and this is my friend Tracy."

Their drinks appeared in front of them and Lassiter raised his own drink in a toast. "To graduation. That is an immense accomplishment."

Juliet and Tracy raised their glasses as well and threw their drinks back before motioning for another.

Soon Lassiter's dinner arrived and Juliet was still talking to him about anything and everything that came to her mind. She was friendly and for some odd reason, rather than being irritated, he was at ease with her conversation. He quickly learned that she had an older brother, her parents were divorced, and she was determined to be a detective anywhere but Miami.

Well, he could certainly understand why.

There was music playing and the song that started must have been one she liked, because Juliet grabbed his arm and gave her best pleading look.

"Dance with me?"

He didn't have time to answer before she dragged him over to a less crowded spot. Then she stepped close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her body pressed against his, momentarily catching his breath.

Victoria had hated dancing.

Juliet pressed herself closer and looked up at him with a sweet smile. "I love this song," she stated, moving her hips in time to the beat.

He nodded dumbly, entranced by her stunning eyes. Several tendrils of her golden hair had worked loose from the bun she had carefully styled, giving her a carefree look.

She was exquisite.

Her eyes closed as he finally began to move with her in time to the beat of the music.

 _She's bouncing like a pinball_

 _Singing every word she never knew_

 _Dancing with her eyes closed_

 _Like she's the only one in the room_

 _Her hair's a perfect mess, falling out of that dress_

 _Take a drunk girl home_

For the next two hours, they talked, danced, and drank. Lassiter was loosening up in ways he hadn't for years. This woman put him at ease (as well as the alcohol) and he had a pleasant buzz going as she leaned closer to speak in his ear.

"Let's get out of here."

A soft shiver went through him and he reached for his wallet, laying several bills down. She stumbled slightly as she slipped off of the chair and he placed his hand on her lower back to steady her.

She talked as they walked out of the bar and down the street. Occasionally he would answer a question, but mostly he just let her speak, content with listening to her voice.

As it turned out she only lived five blocks from the bar. Her apartment complex looked to be in a safe neighborhood, well lit and clean. He followed her inside and up to the third floor.

"It's a bit of a mess," she said apologetically as they stopped at her door and she reached for her keys.

"That's alright." The walk had sobered him a little and he didn't plan to stay long, if at all.

Finally she managed to unlock the door and push it open. Then she turned around and grasped his arm.

"Juliet-"

Suddenly soft, glossy lips were pressed against his own and he froze. He had only ever kissed one woman in his life and this had caught him off-guard.

Juliet pressed herself against him and when he finally parted his lips, he tasted honey and whiskey. A soft groan rumbled through his chest.

A pleased chuckle escaped Juliet's lips and she tugged him over the threshold. "Stay…" Then she pulled away and kicked off her heels and tossed her keys and purse on the floor.

Lassiter watched through hazy eyes as Juliet unpinned her hair, blond locks cascading around her shoulders. Then the tiny straps of her ruby red dress came down, until the dress was suddenly pooled at her feet.

His heart was pounding and he couldn't seem to catch his breath as she winked at him. "Meet me in the bedroom," she breathed, turning around and heading down the hall.

He watched her go, his hands fisted at his sides as he tried to calm his breathing.

After several minutes, he finally ventured down the hall, into her bedroom. He found her sprawled out on her bed, her eyes closed and her breathing deep and even. A smile softened his features.

With great care, Lassiter pulled the covers back and shifted her head so that it was resting on her pillows. Then he covered her with the blankets and turned the bedroom light off.

"Sleep well, Juliet."

As he walked down the hall, he left a light on. He found her keys and phone on the floor and he set them on the kitchen counter. There was a notepad and pen, so he scrawled out his name and phone number after a brief internal struggle. There was no way she would call him, so why was he bothering?

Still he finished the number. Then he checked for his own phone and keys before heading for the front door. He made sure that the door was locked, then he headed into the hallway, closing the door softly behind himself.

Once the door was shut, he tested it to make sure it was locked. Then he quietly slipped down the hallway and back out of the apartment building.

 _Take a drunk girl home, let her sleep all alone_

 _Leave her keys on the counter, your number by the phone_

 _Pick up her life she threw on the floor_

 _Leave the hall lights on walk out and lock the door_

 _That's how she knows the difference between a boy and man_

 _Take a drunk girl home_

His hotel room was a fifteen minute walk away. He adjusted his jacket before heading down the sidewalk.

Shortly he came back into view of the bar where he had met her. People were beginning to leave in twos, no doubt making their way to the privacy of darkness.

He only somewhat envied them.

He could remember a time when he and Victoria had been just like them, unable to keep their hands off of each other. She had been his world.

Shaking his head, he crossed the street and entered the hotel where he would be staying for a few more days.

 _You leave her drive for a dive and you get something bad to eat_

 _They're singing "Closing Time" at that bar across the street_

 _In two by twos, strangers and lovers_

 _Headed for the covers, hooking up_

When he got up to his room, he locked the door and quickly removed his jacket and shoes. His holster was next and he hung each item up with practiced precision.

The TV a few feet away was turned off and he briefly entertained turning it on. Then he went to the mini fridge and pulled out an overpriced beer. He opened it as he sat down on the empty, queen size bed.

From the room next to his he heard someone coughing and he gave up and turned the TV on. After scrolling through the channels, he finally settled on some mindless medical drama. Then he made himself more comfortable as he nursed his beer.

He had not expected his first romantic encounter since Victoria to end with him alone and drinking a beer in an empty hotel room, but he was damn sure glad it had.

 _That TV in your two bedroom, sound's turned off_

 _And through the paper-thin walls, you can hear the neighbor's cigarette cough_

 _There's a million things you could be doing_

 _But there's one thing you're sure damn glad you did_

Once his bottle was empty and the show had changed to infomercials, he got up and tossed the bottle away. Then he took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and crawled back into the empty bed.

After turning off the TV, Lassiter stretched out on his side and tucked his pillow under his head. There was still a light buzz coursing through his veins but he would be completely sober soon, and a hangover was unlikely. No, he had left his hard drinking days behind him, along with the shattered remains of his marriage.

He closed his eyes and focused on the low hum of the air conditioner.

Tomorrow was the next day of training and soon he would be back in California, with Miami being just a distant memory.

He let that thought lull him into a dreamless sleep.

 _You took a drunk girl home, let her sleep all alone_

 _Leave her keys on the counter, your number by the phone_

 _Pick up her life she threw on the floor_

 _Leave the hall lights on walk out and lock the door_

 _That's how you know the difference between a boy and man_

 _Take a drunk girl home_

The next morning, Lassiter was up with the sun. It was hot and humid but he decided to go for a run anyway.

Couldn't let himself get too out of habit.

He climbed out of bed and grabbed his running shoes, and five minutes later he was out the door.

By the time he came back to the hotel, the heat of the day was in full force. He glanced at his watch and decided he had plenty of time for a shower and something quick to eat, so he kicked off his shoes and headed for the tiny hotel bathroom.

When he came out of the shower, he could hear his phone ringing. He grabbed it from the dresser and answered sharply, "Lassiter."

There was a moment of silence. "Is..Is this Carlton?" a soft voice inquired.

His brow furrowed. "Yes, this is Detective Carlton Lassiter."

"Hi… My name is Juliet. We met last night."

He inhaled softly and sat down on the foot of his bed. "Yes. Hello."

"Hi." He could hear her fidgeting with something. "I found your number, and my keys. And I wanted to say thank you. I...I normally don't drink that much."

A soft chuckle escaped him. "You said you had just graduated the academy."

"I did!"

"Well, congratulations."

"Thank you." Another pause. "Really. Thank you. I remember little pieces of last night, and that is not normally how I act. I appreciate...I appreciate you getting me home safely."

"I was happy to do it."

"I… thank you. So I was wondering if I could maybe take you out to dinner tonight? You know, to thank you properly."

"You don't have to do that," he insisted, but she was quick to interrupt.

"I know. I want to. Please?"

He smiled and flicked at a piece of thread on his pants. "Alright. Seven?"

"Seven," she agreed. "There's a really great Italian place a few blocks away."

"That sounds very nice."

"Okay. I'll see you then. And Carlton?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you." The sincerity in her voice made him close his eyes.

"You're welcome, Juliet."

 _You took a drunk girl home_

 _In the sober light of dawn_

 _She left you a message_

 _She thanked you on the phone_

 _'Cause you picked up her life she threw on the floor_

 _You left the hall lights on walked out and locked the door_

 _That's how she knows the difference between a boy and man_

 _Take a drunk girl home_

Finis.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think!


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